It’s been a while

Yep.  I’ve been busy pinning on Pinterest.  It seems that’s a decent place to throw all my junk together.

Feel free to follow me on there.

Life’s been pretty crazy lately.  Actually I’ve been pretty crazy.  I’m at wits end with my job, feeling the “oh my god i’m 30 and still don’t know what i wanna be when i grow up” bullshit.  I take those aptitude tests and they say I’m good at anything I put my mind to.  Well then what?!  Where will I find satisfaction?!

It certainly isn’t at a job where I’m everybody’s low-paid bitch.  I’m so sick of being all codependent in my job.  I’d like to be able to make decisions for myself and not have to rely on a ton of people to get shit done.  I am not a “team” player, though I can when I need to be.  I really want some freedom to gain more education without feeling like I’m asking for the stars.  I’d like to be appreciated, not brushed under the rug.  I would like to feel included rather than excluded and told I don’t need to know that or that I don’t need to be trained on x,y,z.

But in this economy and with a refinanced mortgage (we went from a 30 to a 15 year loan), I feel trapped.  I’d like to gain more education in my field, but the closest college in (at a minimum) 90 miles away.  I’m married… and I can’t stand the thought of moving away for college.

I don’t know… I used to be a piano teacher and a band instrument repair tech.  I made next to nothing, but it was the best job I could ever dream of.  Then I threw it away.  Long story short, I was using, got help, thought I had to quit my job to do so (didn’t know about FMLA), and here I am 5 years later… clean and miserable, thinking about how long my recovery will last at this rate.

I need to get my poop in a group before I drive myself insane.

Back to work……………

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